Gift Guide for the Grieving Soul
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“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” — J.R.R. Tolkien
“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. … There is sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. … There are moments, most unexpectedly, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don’t really mind so much, not so very much, after all.” – C.S. Lewis (A Grief Observed)
A Personal Experience with Grief & Gifting
My family’s lives changed the day I sustained my traumatic brain injury on a ballroom dance floor of January 2023. In shock of a loss that confronted us so unexpectedly and so suddenly that day, a dark sadness hauntingly lolled in, and the ache that is now constantly present had begun. Grief was suddenly among us.
Although every grief is different – affecting those who have experienced the passing of a loved one, a child or sibling serving a church mission, losing a beloved pet, parents grieving a miscarriage, handling divorce with a spouse, losing yourself by injury, and more – every grief comes with a painful wound. Every grief painfully supersedes a loss, and for an unmeasured amount of time lulls us into a drift of heartache.
As my family grieved – and continue to grieve – we experienced the genuine, thoughtful outreach of love and kindness from so many friends and family members. In the hardest weeks, beautiful gifts comforted our weary hearts, and we found rest in the goodness of angels around us. However, there were also times when we were affected by a gift that didn’t empower us, but rather hindered our hope. Using the experience we lived as a grieving family, I created a gift guide for the grieving soul to help loved ones provide relief to their grieving persons with gifts that bless with hope, and not hinder.
In times of suffering and sorrow, these personal gifts can be a powerful reminder that the grieving one is not alone, that their grief is seen, and that healing is possible, even in small steps. Even two years later, we still remember the meaningful gifts we have been given, and the gracious person that intentionally gifted them to us.
- A Personal Experience with Grief & Gifting
1. A Luxury-Curated Blanket
I didn’t realize how genuine and needed this gift of a huggable, luxury blanket would be until I received the most thoughtful blankets from many dear family and friends following my brain injury – days, weeks, and years later. In the grief and pain of my new broken world – surviving PNES seizures, psychosis episodes, depression, PTSD, etc – a blanket to swallow my trembling, frightened body in was just what I needed. And it not only comforted me, but my whole family as we all together wrapped ourselves in its fabric during the most bereaving hours. Whether it was one with positive affirmations written in the light blue fabric, weighted and wool, plushy and square, or the most delightsome pink, it was always so appreciated in such hard moments and each have wiped many tears in painful nights, too.
As the first item on the list, this is a gift for grieving loved ones that is almost always perfect. Choose your own blanket for a loved one by browsing the links below:
2. Comforting Books for the Soul
Finding the right words to offer to anyone experiencing tragedy, grief, or any adversity is almost impossible. Knowing what to say, and how to say it is something we can’t foresee easily. But offering the perfect book of validating, comforting words is the perfect way to give comfort to anyone facing grief. In my family’s own fog of grief, books have served as a source of strength, guidance, and escape from the emotional shadows in and around us. Reading real stories of faith and perseverance has brought weaved hope between us, and a better reliance in God’s plan and promises despite our devastating season.
- Real Grief Stories from Real People: There are many wonderful books written specifically to help people through grief & depression. Titles like “Silent Souls Weeping” by Jane Clayson Johnson, “Inconceivable” by Julia Indichova, “Suffering is Never For Nothing” by Elizabeth Elliot, “Tragedy: Confronting the Unthinkable” by Renee Haley or “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis can offer validation and encouragement.
- Devotional/Guidance Books: For those who find comfort in faith, a daily devotional can provide spiritual strength. Look for devotionals specifically aimed at those in mourning, like “To Root and To Rise: Accepting Brain Injury” by Carole J Starr, “Self Care for Grief: 100 Practices for Healing” by Nneka M. Okona, and “Even in Darkness: A Devotional Journal for Grief” by Morgan Cheek, which all offer peace and hope with God.
- Inspirational Novels: Sometimes, fiction can provide the most comforting escape. A well-written novel with uplifting topics, plot, and passages can offer a brief respite, allowing the grieving person to heal and reflect. A few personally favorite inspirational novels I’ve found respite in through my own grief include “A Christmas Memory” by Richard Paul Evans, “A Heart Worth Stealing” by Joanna Barker, and Agatha Christie’s renowned novel, “Murder on the Orient Express” (more of an escape).
See our related post for more empowering book recommendations – 10 Empowering Books of Virtue for Christian Women.
3. Meal Delivery by DoorDash, UberEats, etc
Grief often takes a physical toll – especially when it deregulates emotional stability, leading to depression. The daily tasks that once seemed simple—like cooking meals, cleaning the house, or even getting out of bed—become overwhelming and heavy. In our my family’s personal grieving experience after my TBI, meal deliveries have been another thoughtful + simple gift that has benefitted and blessed my family so much, especially my mother, whether it’s a DoorDash gift card, or a homemade dish from a friend dropped on our doorstep.
- Meal Delivery: Set up a meal delivery service or bring over home-cooked meals. Focus on meals that are easy to store, reheat, and eat without much effort or dishes. You can even coordinate with friends or family to create a meal train, ensuring they have a steady stream of food for days or weeks.
Acts of service like these show deep compassion for the grieving person’s emotional and physical exhaustion. It’s not just about the task at hand; it’s about easing the burden and reminding them they don’t have to face this journey alone. We still remember certain meals and remember the person who gifted them.
4. Paint By Number Project
One of the unique gifts that was very supportive and nourishing in my own experience after the loss of myself in injury was receiving a paint by number kit. Something as simple as this not only provides a source of purpose and activity while grieving (especially for the artsy, craftsy soul), but also gives them a way to see their progress and fulfill something that is worth hanging up and admiring for years to come. During the entire first year of recovery after my fall, I ended up collecting and painting more than five kits. It was the only thing I was capable of doing, and enabled me to see that I was fulfilling something – even if it was small.
Choose your paint by number kit to give:
5. Personalized Care Basket
A thoughtfully curated care basket can provide a mix of comfort, nourishment, and encouragement. These packages can be tailored to the person’s needs and preferences.
- Soothing Items: Include cozy socks, soft blankets, or calming teas. Items that promote relaxation, like a wood massage tools, healing crystals, or scented candles, can help soothe frazzled nerves.
- Self-Care Gifts: Sometimes grief makes people forget to care for themselves. Include items like a nourishing lotion, a facial mask, bath bombs, essential oils, or natural soap bars to encourage the person to take a moment for themselves.
- Personal Notes: Include heartfelt notes, comforting scriptures, art pieces, or prayers. A few kind words can make all the difference when someone is feeling lost. tip: please don’t use the flat phrase, “get well soon,” “I know exactly how you feel” or “feel better”. The excessive amount of letters I received with these words, even after two years from my fall was frustrating and depressing, especially considering the deep pain and loss my family and I were suffering.
The key to an intentional care package is personalization and listening to the Lord—showing that you’ve taken time to think and pray about what might bring them comfort. The key to this intentional kind of service is to give with purpose and heart, not on the whim because you “have to” check it off your list.
6. Willow Tree Figurine
I’ve always adored the Willow Tree Collections and have always admired how dainty and elegant they look on any shelf or bedside. They’re minimal, yet symbolic, and fit in any certain time of gifting, whether it be a birthday, Christmas, and the like. But when I saw the feminine and free Willow Tree Statue in my therapists office (see image below), I knew I wanted to start collecting them. For my eighteenth birthday, I received two at last and how they’ve guided and inspired me in my dark days of grief. Willow Trees are gifts of grace and beauty I believe fill holes and inspire freedom for any grieving soul seeking radiating sweet hope.
Select a Willow Tree Figurine for your grieving loved one by Theme:
7. Floral Gifting: Seeds, Lego Flowers, Vases
“I must have flowers, always and always.” – Claude Monet
I believe the gift of flowers – as if God’s hand had painted them and dropped them from His window – will never get old. At least for me and my family, they’ve never come too often. The fragrance, the colors, the symbolism, and more make flowers such a needed present. But other than gifting a classic floral bouquet, these flower-themed gifts listed below are something just as thoughtful that I’ve received in my own loss have brought care and meaning in a most reverent way.
8. The Flower Letters Subscription
In the midst of my advancing depression, I faced many negative thoughts and behaviors surrounding suicide. On one of the days I felt entirely disconnected & disassociated from my body, all numbness overcoming me, I received the most intricately dainty snail mail letter in the mailbox with my name, “Miss Makenzie” printed in cursive handwriting on the front – watercolor flowers adorning every corner. This gift from my dear mother was something that not only spared my precious life that day, but for 12 months following, surprising my heart with the delight and peace of 23 more letters.
Since June 2023, I have been receiving The Flower Letters subscription and it has brought so much needed hope in my grief, but also gave me a reason to give another day, Each envelope from their collections are delicately comprised of remarkably descriptive letters, sourced history, postcards, artsy inserts, character development, recipes, and romance. Since finishing the Audrey Rose WWII collection and beginning the Adelaide Magnolia Regency collection, I am in love with each story and the sincere writing and romance that plays and frolics throughout each are so adored. This gift is the perfect fit for any grieving heart age 9-100 to bring hope, delight, purpose, florals, and more.
Purchase your story collection HERE.
Final Thoughts: The Gift of Compassion
Grief is a journey that no one should walk alone. By giving an intentional gift, you’re not only showing that you care, but you’re offering comfort, healing, and hope. Whether it’s a personalized keepsake, a comforting book, or simply your time and presence, your thoughtful gesture can be a light in someone’s darkest days.
If you’re unsure what to give, remember that the most meaningful gifts are those that show you’ve thought about the person’s emotional and spiritual needs. These gifts, filled with love and empathy, will make a lasting impact long after the grieving process has passed.
Remember, sometimes the simplest act of kindness—whether in the form of a gift, a prayer, or a hug—can bring a sense of peace and comfort when it’s needed most. You can be the instrument to bring the healing of Christ into any broken soul.
Do you have any favorite gifts or ideas that have helped someone through grief? Have you received a dear gift in your own grief? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
xo
When I was grieving, and when I still grieve, a piece of jewelry has helped me, a necklace from a dear friend, a bracelet with a special charm, a small simple cross on a chain to help me remember my ultimate Comforter, a piece of stone from a place of remembrance fashioned into a memento to hold on to, those gifts have meant the most.
Lisa, I knew I was missing a pivotal gift on my list, and you brought notice to it right away. Intentional pieces of jewelry really do bring solace and comfort while experiencing grief. I have received many of my own precious necklaces, bracelets, and earrings in my grief with charms that remind me to hope on the difficult days. I may have to add a section on jewelry to this – you are an angel to share! Thank you <3